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"Everyone is Nursing here, right?" she asked without allowing her classmates to reply. "…So it’s okay for me to talk about it."

She looked so innocent. Her confidence carried her to the stage like how wind does a leaf. She took her position, and started to glance and smile at the audience. It was hard for me to expect an "electric shock" from her. Her finding comfort in the class being composed of all Nursing students, however, pinned me up in mystery.

Like any teacher wanting to show respect to his students, I sat straight, held my pen, placed my right hand atop the other, and leaned forward. I became a personification of good posture, until she declared:

"I will talk about masturbation."

SHOOTS!!!! It was at that instant that I wanted the door to slam itself on me unconscious. If only I could tickle the cracks in the wall open, I would have slithered through them.

It was not a Biology class! It was neither a Healthcare 101 class! It was a Speech class! Worse, it was a Speech class which students Philippine laws classify as "minors."

Hearing her talk about "masturbation" conjured up images of the brass cross at the Silliman Church. Her every word formed the puzzle of myself being nailed to that cross by the University Religious Life Council.

But there I was, dealing with a topic best taken up outside my hearing distance.

"…breathe in…breathe out…" I told myself, as air rode on the rough tides of laughters of the class that seemingly made it hard for air to get through my nostrils.

Just when I was in the process of wiping off the natural red paint on my face, I had to hold my breath again when she ran down the list of benefits from masturbation:

"…It can help those who are suffering from insomnia… It relieves stress… It cures depression…"

I had to take in everything as both teacher and human. Without sending wrong signs of affirmation, I continued to listen to her attentively. I knew what she was talking about, but I had to play naieve. It was awkward to be hearing someone spilling the beans about a "private" activity that most consider normal among guys.

It was at the point when I confronted myself. "This is not that bad after all. It’s scientific. It’s academic." There was sense and truth to what she was discussing.

The greatest challenge at that point, however, was finding balance as I trekked the fine thread held on one side by my encouraging them to be creative and relevant to their age, and on another, by my desire to stick to the norms and conservatism.

I decided I cannot — and shouldn’t — censor her. It’s arguably part of learning. The more you open for discussion sensitive topics, the more you expose them to the realities of life, and in the process, prepare them for wise decisions. The teacher in that picture then becomes a facilitator, ensuring that the discussion plays around the bounds of what is academic.

It was admittedly hard to defend the student and myself at the same time for allowing that topic to be discussed. And it became tougher when she seemingly wanted more in the flock:

"Girls also masturbate, just like boys. And this is a fact. Am I not right?"

This is when my naivete became genuine.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 10th, 2008 at 9:46 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.