My Blog

Before segueing into the meat… 

I met this afternoon someone I had wanted to forget about…at least forget about the sweet-then bittersweet-then bitter experience that I had with that someone.

Life sure knows how to heal wounds, but it also knows how to attempt to scratch open the same. Been there, done that. No more, please.

*****************************

The Meat

I have gotten addicted to PR and marketing books. For the past three months, I have acquired seven books already: five of them are on PR and marketing; the others on leadership, coaching, and time and people management.

My recent addition to my humble collection is the book POP! Standing Out in Any Crowd by Sam Horn (author of Tongue Fu!). The book was given to me by my former secretary, Jinky, as her Christmas gift, following her transfer to another department to occupy a regular position. She actually gave me P1,000 to buy a book of my choice after National Bookstore failed to deliver a more expensive book I ordered for personal purchase, Talespin (personally recommended by Universal Robina Corporation’s PR girl, Viveca Singson).  (The thought of me receiving such amount on Christmas from my former staff makes me feel guilty as I have yet to fulfill my commitments to my godchildren.wahahaha! I don’t even think I’d be able to duplicate the same generosity. = )

The book discusses how to market yourself and attract someone’s attention to you (and the product your selling) in the first crucial minute ("Tell ‘n Sell" and "elevator introduction") and encouraging your prospective / present client to find worth in continuing to listen to what you can say. It revolves around the word in the title, which is an accronym, POP: Purposeful, Original, and Pithy.

In its introduction, Pop! carries Jerry Garcia’s quote: "It’s not enough to be the best at what you do; you must be perceived as the only one who does what you do."

The first two paragraphs of the introduction gives flesh to this quote:

"On the first ‘elimination’ round of FOX’s 2006 American Idol program, a talented singer named Patrick was surprisingly voted off.

Why? As caustic judge Simon Cowell explained, "You have a good voice and you’re a nice guy. You just didn’t do the one thing necessary to go through the next round. You didn’t stand out from the crowd."

Thumbing down each page, I realized that talent may bring one somewhere, yes, but it sure is not enough, if one wishes to be distinguished from the mediocre. The realization reinforces my belief that to survive in an organization, one has to know how to establish his/her distinctive value and somehow indespensibility. One has to be the "go to guy" — a multitasker, a troubleshooter, a person who views challenges as an opportunity to calibrate his/her relevance and significance to the organization.

I’m proud to say (though to voracious readers this is a pathetic revelation) that I was able to finish reading half of the 223-page book at the domestic airport in Manila, a little over 1/4 of the remaining on my flight to Davao, 1/2 of the remaining at the Davao airport, and the rest on my flight to Cebu. This took place within a period of seven days of what was a so-so semi-OB travel. Normally, I rarely finish a book in a week’s time. It usually takes me to be away from Dumaguete before I can lay my hands on the books that sit on a shelf behind my desk, seemingly creating the pa-genius effect! (hush….secret!)

Buying books nowadays requires not just serious money but literal neck- and back-stretching efforts at determining which books would be worth your "investment". For someone like me who is not classified under "wide reader", I rely on two things in buying books: (1) the catchy-ness of the title and how the write-up on the inside flap complements / supports / justifies the praises of notable personalities on the back cover, and (2) references — when you hear "big" people mention books in their speeches about their successful life journeys. Admittedly, however, Butch Jimenez has successfully positioned in my mind Al Ries and Jack Trout as among the most trusted and relevant-to-the-times when it comes to marketing / advertising / PR books.

This blog will, however, not delve at length on the contents of the book. I am one of those people who are bad at doing reviews. But I wish to share with you a portion of the book found toward the end. It may not be the best but it has something to offer that each of us may consider using, especially in dealing with people:

MORE IS NOT BETTER

"There is a time to say nothing, and a time to say something, but there is never a time to say everything" — Anonymous

Imagine you are a trainer developing a course on how employees can improve their communication. You might want to break this huge topic into something "graspable" by introducing the concept that there are "fighting phrases" and "friendly phrases".

You could point out that every time we communicate, we either create conflict or collaboration. Fighting phrases such as but, should, you’ll have to, can’t because create resentment. Friendly phrases such as and, next time, could you please, yes, as soon as create rapport.

Now, look again at the above paragaph. It may make sense, but it’s hard to grasp what was said. You would probably just move on to the next paragraph and never get the full value of those ideas because they weren’t presented in a diagram that helped you picture them in your mind.

Now, imagine if you graphically depicted that information by placing the "wrong" and the "right" types of communication in separate columns, as below.

Fighting Phrases

But / Should / You’ll have to / Can’t because / There’s nothing

Friendly Phrases   

And / Next / Could you please / Yes, you can, as soon / There’s something

We were doing recruitment at a Catholic school in Bacolod when I bumped into the Dean of the Graduate School of "Silliman Back" university. = )

She gladly greeted me. We shook hands.

Then she asked: "What are you doing here Father?"

I replied, although a bit alarmed by how she addressed me: "Oh, we’re here to do recruitment."

"What about you, Ma’am?"

"We’re here for our Lakbay Aral."

After her seemingly never-ending trail of smiles, she asked me: "So, after this, you’re going back to Valencia?"

"Valenca? You mean, Valencia in Bukidnon or Valencia next to Dumaguete?"

"In Dumaguete…at St. Joseph Seminary!"

I stuttered.

"Hmmm… Ma’am, I think you have the wrong person; I’m not a priest."

"Ohhh… But you actually look like a priest!"

Toinkz!

Was that what people call THE "calling"?

Haller, is anybody home?

Presented during the lecture/workshop I conducted on "Customizing Information" on April 25 at the Asian Institute of Management, as part of the weeklong program of 6th Knowledge for Development Center Meeting of the World Bank.

Without room for debate, the poem is a constructive mockery of and an insult to poverty. One of the seven identified non-conventional, mainstream approaches to bringing WB development publications down to the grassroots level. It’s high time for information to be made readable to the illiterate, seeable to the blind, hearable to the deaf, and life-giving to the dead (apathetic).

Thanks to: Berna, Mitch, Claudio and my nieces, Pia and Nia, for the vids / Rochelle for the artworks / Peter Parker for the music. = )

Time to accept consultancies? wahehehe

****

Oh, Pobre

Oh, probre…

Wala na ba koy balor?

Bulad na lang gani, dili pa makaon.

Kung pwede pa lamang mabuhi sa simhot,

Tiyan namo’y dugay ra unta gaburot.

Oh, pobre…

Asa naman lamang ko puluton?

Ang gobyerno, puro naman lamang saad:

Libreng pabalay,

Libreng palay,

Libreng pahuway…

Oh, Hesus ko, kulang na lang mamatay.

Oh, pobre…

Samtang si mayor cge’g padako’g atay,

Samtang si gobernor nagpalagaylay sa balay,

Samtang si congressman, nagpahalipay kay inday,

Kaming mga pobre, hapit na ibalibay.

Oh, pobre…

Ang mga tawo nagkaminos

Abi kami walay nakat-unan,

Tungod sa kapobrehong gaburos-buros,

Ila na lang kaming tawagon

Na mga tawong butol puros

Oh, probre…

So hala, bira! Pantabas ug tubo,

Panilhig ug panglampaso,

Hinaot na kami’y maluy-an ug mabahandian.

Sagdi lang ug sakit na kaau ang likod,

Basta pag abot sa balay, naa lamay ikasugnod.

Oh pobre…

Nganong wala man tay kauswagon?

Kung hunahunaon, kita man tay duolunon.

Kung kinahanglan ug botar,

or rally man lang sa dalan

Mga politico muduol sa ato, ug

Hala, mura ta’g haring gi-halaran.

Oh pobre…

What is the happen to the world?

Tanan na lamang ani damgong gabitaybitay.

May pa ang unggoy nga galatay-latay,

Saging ray nakita, mura na ug gahikay.

Busa mga pobre, panahon na para kita mulihok!

Kuhaa ang inyong mga banig!

Kuhaa ang inyong mga habol!

Kuhaa! Karon na!

Kay mangatulog na lamang kita.

"Inspirational speech" delivered during the second day celebration of the 41st anniversary of the College of Mass Communication held February 19, 2007 at the Amphitheater, Silliman University:

Tying the Knot with My ‘Soul Mate’

In keeping with the celebration of Valentines month, allow me to start off “romantic”.

When I was in high school, I refused to court the idea of taking up Mass Communication. I flirted with a “lucrative course”; one that most of the people around me made me believe would land me a good-paying job right after graduation. So I courted, and eventually married, Accountancy, inspired by my relatives who are successful accountants.

While my first months of marriage were bliss, the sails became tougher and tougher as my monthsaries with Accounting 11 piled up toward my midterms and then finals. The nightly honeymoons in the bed of balance sheets kept my clothes of fading interest on. By the month, it went tougher for me. While I accepted the course’s polygamous nature, I found myself losing my credits to her other guys. And when I was just near the deficit mark—while I still had some dignity left—I had to make a decision: with eyes wide open, I kissed my first wife goodbye.

It was only after I got divorced from Accountancy that I contemplated getting steady with the course that my father teased me with, Mass Communication. Well, I could not say it was love at first sight. Maybe it was infatuation that eventually developed into love, as my encounter with writing and speaking dates back to my high school years.

The first months with my live-in partner were nothing special. Maybe because I missed my first wife; I could still smell her lingering scent. But I tried hard. And in March 2003, I finally asked for her hand and gave my “I do…’till death do us part.” I realized, I made the right choice. She is my soul mate.

Let’s get serious and drop the romance.

This long process of knowing what I am here in the world for had me subject myself to introspection, asking questions guided by the journalistic 5Ws, 1H and, more importantly, So What:

(1) What do I want to do with my life?

- This answers what kind of future and life you want to enjoy.

- You align your plans with your interests and skills.

(2) Where do I want to go?

- This answers where in the corporate organizational chart you want to be located from the moment you start working in the organization and, say, five years from that time.

- You foresee your role in and your possible contributions to the society.

(3) When do I start working on it?

- This answers when you have to start preparing yourself, equipping yourself with the necessary skills.

- You give a timeline to yourself (i.e. By the age of 35, I hope to become VP for corporate communications of a big company).

(4) Why does it have to be so difficult?

- This answers your doubts about your abilities, if you can really reach it up there.

- You translate challenges in life as opportunities for you to brush with your unknown self, know yourself better, and realize your potentials to the fullest.

(5) Who do I trust and rely on?

- This helps you determine the people who play an important role in your life, and assure yourself that there are people you can always turn to when the sailing gets rough.

- You determine your support system and establish a stronger faith in the Lord.

(6) How do I handle my life amidst challenges?

- This enables you to know your strengths and weaknesses, and use such knowledge to guide you in your decision-making.

- You don’t always think of the best things that could happen to you; you also need to prepare for the worst. Psyche yourself up for the hardest blows of life.

(7) So what if I am there already?

- This helps you maintain your feet on the ground, always looking back to the kind of life you once had and giving high regard to people who have in one way or another helped you achieve your dreams.

- You let your life be defined not by the number of achievements you have but by the number of people whose lives you continue to touch and inspire. You view the people that you work with as partners, always sharing the credit of your success with them.

People think that Mass Communication is an easy course. “Why spend for something you can do without formal schooling?” So they ask. This was the same question I asked myself back in high school. I never really wanted Mass Communication for a course, although I knew back then that I had an interest in it. So when I got into the College of Mass Communication, formerly School of Communication, I had to find ways to answer my own question.

All of us have our respective interests. A math champion in high school, no matter how much of a genius he thinks of himself, would likely pursue mathematics or engineering as a course in college. Someone who may seem to have memorized the volumes of Britannica in the library would likely pursue his or her interest in the sciences or history.

It is, therefore, about pursuing your interest. We take up mass communication not because we already know how to write, but, more importantly, because we want our writing to be of significant relevance to the community, to be direct or indirect shapers of public opinion towards social and political transformation, to be fillers of the gaps of misunderstanding, ignorance, and apathy.

Without generalizing though, while a non-mass communication student may be able to express perfectly in written or oral form his opinion of things or experiences in life, such may only be for personal consumption, glory, and fulfillment.

A mass communication student is one whose work he or she envisions to transcend personal glory. A mass communication student finds his or her fulfillment in how his or her work is being made with the purpose of making a difference in the lives of others. A mass communication student both mirrors the realities that exist and make those who contribute to the seeming perpetuity of such realities do something about them.

May it be the news that updates people of the predatory tactics of the crocodiles in government, or the feature stories on personalities, fashion, and the bitter-sweets of life that inspire or disgust us, or the commentaries that shake us to take part in government affairs and help realize how colorfully rotten our society is getting, the work of a mass communication practitioner is one that comes with a purpose and an impact on the lives of people. We seek to resuscitate the ones who are dead in contentment, apathy, and ignorance by making their heart pump again, their brain think again, and their body act again.

So did you make the right choice?

Yes, if you have enrolled in the College of Mass Communication with the thought of finding fulfillment in how your pen can be of service to others.

No, if you have enrolled in the College of Mass Communication with the thought of finding fulfillment in what your pen can do for you.

Oh, Cupid,

How stupid!

Why aim your arrow all day?

It’s tiny,

Yet so mighty!

Dare not drop it in hay.

Why cruel?

Oh, Cupid!

Why can’t you at least be fair?

While others,

Treasurer it to remember, 

Some people prefer to forget it in scare.

Why cruel?

Oh, Cupid!

Why make it hard for someone to dare?

Buy flowers

And spend dinner

All in the name of funfare!

Oh, Cupid!

You stupid!

Why can’t you be sincere?

While others

Smile like ambers,

Some rather stay in their houses’ care.

Oh, Cupid!

You cruel!

You make people suffer-impair.

While others

Have someone to smile with,

The rest smell their very breath’s air.

Will shoot you!

Oh, Cupid!

So run as fast as you can!

‘Coz if I see you,

And catch you,

You’ll get some hellish fun!

…But I can’t blame you,

Oh, Cupid…

It’s all in the name of work…

So I pray,

To dear All Mighty,

That my genie will soon break her bottle’s cork.

Delivered at Soochow University, Taipei, Taiwan at the conference on “Project-Based Service-Learning: International Perspectives”.

Service-Learning: ‘Playing Basketball and Washing Dishes’

Playing basketball, soccer, volleyball is fun. We look forward to it every time.

Washing the dishes at home, doing the laundry, taking the garbage out of the house is not fun. We hate to do it all the time.

Is there any difference at all between playing basketball, which you love, and washing dishes, which you hate?

You would say, definitely, there are differences. (1) You play basketball on the court, while you wash dishes in the sink. (2) You keep the ball dry as you dribble it to make a shot, while you have to keep the plates wet as you soap them. (3) And the huge difference is in the fact that you love basketball but hate washing dishes.

Now, let me flip the coin and ask you: Is there any similarity between the two?

You might say, “None.” But I say, yes, there are similarities. The fact that, (one) it is you who do it – there is one person doing it,  makes them similar; (two) both require the hands for the mission to be accomplished, makes them similar; and (three) both take time, sweat and hard work to finish, makes something that you hate and something that you love similar.

Service-learning is both playing basketball and washing dishes. To some, we hate it at first then we love it eventually. To others, we love it at first then we start to hate it eventually. But for me, it is something that I hate and love at the same time.

Service-learning is both playing basketball and washing dishes because you have to work. You have to exert effort. You have to sweat out or perspire. It is both because you have a goal: to win the basketball game or to have clean plates to put food on for the next meal.

Hard work and goal are the two things that make service-learning both playing basketball and washing dishes.

But if basketball and washing dishes are the same, why do I love basketball but hate washing dishes?

It is passion. You have the passion for playing basketball but you have none for washing dishes.

Passion is what the youth has to develop nowadays. …The passion for service-learning; the passion for helping communities. The passion for knowing why millions in Asia are poor – who cannot eat; who stay in the streets; who are malnourished – while only a few are rich, able to enjoy life’s blessings to the fullest. The passion for understanding what makes the Chinese culture the same with the Filipino culture, with the Japanese culture, with the Indian culture. The passion for knowing how we can achieve peace even in the face of language barriers – how without speaking Mandarin, the Japanese is able to understand a Taiwanese; how without knowing Nipponggo, the Filipino is able to work together and make friends with the Japanese.

This is the passion that breaks the barriers to cultural understanding and regional peace. 

In August this year at

Silliman

University

in the

Philippines

, we conducted the Silliman University-International Christian University International Service-Learning Model Program 2006. We joined hands with the

International

Christian

University

of

Japan

to bring in 20 student-participants from six countries:

Taiwan

(

Soochow

University

),

Japan

(

International

Christian

University

),

India

(

Lady

Doak

College

), Hong Kong (

Chung

Chi

College

of the

Chinese

University

of Hong Kong),

Korea

(Seoul Women’s University) and the

Philippines

(

Silliman

University

).

We assigned the participants in eight different communities. It was an exposure to the Filipino way of life and culture. It was their opportunity to know what makes the Filipino culture different from theirs, and yet how, even if it is different from theirs, they still are able to relate with it, understand it and find it a bit the same as theirs.

We divided the participants into eight groups. Each group had a Filipino student who was with them as a co-learner and who was there to facilitate communication in the Cebuano dialect. We, however, selected the host community and the host family which had members who could speak at least a little English. 

The participants spent roughly three weeks with their host communities. They slept with their host families four nights every week. Every Monday morning, they went back to their host communities where they took part in community activities such as teaching little children, giving health care and medical assistance, planting and harvesting vegetables, crops and bamboos, making tiles out of clay or mud, and doing household chores, like cleaning the house, cooking and, yes, washing dishes. Every Friday, they came back to the Silliman campus for the reflection sessions on Saturdays. At the reflection sessions, their experiences, insights and concerns were shared and processed.

Although Filipinos are very hospitable that you are always treated as guests in our homes, the participants were made to feel like they were members of the community, part of the family; that they were children – the sons and daughters – of the host family. It was the best arrangement to make the participants feel that they had a home away from home.

But they were in communities that did not have all the luxuries in life, all the conveniences that we enjoy. There was no heater, so they had to bathe in cold water. There was no air-conditioning unit. Some beds were not as comfortable as the mattresses that we have now. Some had to cook using firewood. There were no taxi cabs that you could flag down; others had to walk long distances to get a ride.

Their fears and all the new things to them made service-learning at this point similar to washing dishes:

o       there was brownout or no electricity

o       the water for taking a bath was brownish, and there was no heater

o       there were mosquitoes and there were ants on the table

o       they had to wake up earlier than the time they used to wake up to do community activities

o       they had to walk

o       the Filipinos are lazy

o       the beds were not comfortable and soft

o       they had to stay under the heat of the sun

o       their partners always spoke in the dialect, making it hard for them to understand each other

o       their partners didn’t seem to work as hard as they did

They had a goal of cultural understanding, but their passion deteriorated because of their fears, their apprehensions, the things that they did not like doing, the things that they simply did not like.

Because of this, in the first week of their experience, they “hated” service-learning. It was, however, understandable, because it was their first time. They were still adjusting to the change in environment.

But in the second week up to the end of the program, that was when service-learning became playing basketball. They saw ants and mosquitoes, they experienced no electricity, they walked long distances…they were tired and sweating, but they started to love it because they saw a smile on the faces of the Filipinos that they helped and worked with – indicative of how the participants had silently contributed to and touched lives of the members of their respective host communities.

They taught children origami, mathematics, geography. They played and sang with them. They attended fiestas or festivals. They attended meetings with officials of communities. They visited rehabilitation centers and brought the needs of the centers to the attention of the appropriate authorities.

Yes, they hated the fact that there was heavy corruption in the

Philippines

, that there were poor people, that there were children who could not afford college education. But they worked hard nonetheless and loved it because their goal changed from simply wanting to finish the program and go home to wanting to know more about the Filipinos, to work with them, to be of help to them.

The experience also affirmed the kind of profession that the participants wanted after they graduate from college. A Korean said that she now wants to become medical doctor to give free medical services to the poor, after seeing a Filipino baby suffering from a severe heart ailment. Another participant said she made a right choice to become a social worker after bringing to the attention of the Department of Social Welfare and Development the case of a mentally challenged woman who was placed inside a pig pen.  And several others were touched that a Japanese student expressed desire to look for a scholarship for one of the children of her host family, so that he could go to college someday.

This is when you hate and at the same time love service-learning. This is when service-learning starts to touch and transform lives of people – your life, my life and that of the rest of our brothers and sisters out there.

Allow me to end by sharing some quotes with you that reflect the learning and transformative impact of service-learning on the participants:

Japanese:

“The worst experience is the best experience”

Korean:

“What we have is paradise, but this is heaven”

Taiwanese:

“You should not only do the things that you like; on the contrary, you should enjoy what you do”.

Together, let us play basketball and wash dishes as we do service-learning!

dead, oh dead…

oh dead, the dead

the dead, oh

the, oh, dead

oh, the dead

dead-end

oh?

dead

end.

I could not resist it. I had a hard time controlling the urge. I needed to strike while the iron was hot. It was time to let it go. My curiosity was uncontrollable; it demanded my total submission to temptation. Friends tell me I would crave for it after my first. The opportunity was there. I grabbed it! Is it my fault? I am human. I am a man. I admit, I have allowed myself to be divirginized. I am no longer completely innocent. I have conquered that which I often thought was only for those either immature or overly mature–the BLOG! Hahaha! Now I am being anti-climactic. …You may now relax… This is not the blog about a guy’s "first experience". At least not yet. Kidding aside, this is my first shot at the blog. I thought Friendster was enough for people to know a little bit about people: who they are; how they look like. There was no need to immortalize the person you already are in Friendster by informing people about your daily travails–obviously infusing some spirit, some life into what was used to be promotional information–simply, advertising.  But I am now eating my own words. I may well be addicted to it. Who knows, I might find some productive use for it. But whatever that is, I could not think of one yet. Maybe in the succeeding blogs I can key in more meaty thoughts. Not to mention, less deceiving and more realistic.